"I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly."



New Order - Blue Monday





You said fear is only a verb if you let it be
don’t you dare let go of my hand

That was my favourite line.


Andrea Gibson, from I Do 

SADNESSES OF THE BODY: Mirror sadness; Sadness of [looking] like or unlike one’s parent; Sadness of [looking] like or unlike one’s parent; Sadness of not knowing if your [body is] normal; Sadness of knowing your body is not normal; Sadness of knowing your body is normal; Beauty Sadness; Sadness of m[ak]eup; Sadness of physical pain; Pins-and-[needles sadness]; Sadness of clothes [sic]; Sadness of the quavering eyelid; Sadness of a missing rib; Noticeable sad[ness]; Sadness of going unnoticed; The sadness of having genitals that are not like those of your lover; The sadness of having genitals that are like those of your lover; Sadness of hands.

SADNESSES OF THE COVENANT: Sadness of God’s love; Sadness of God’s back [sic]; Favorite-child sadness; Sadness of b[ein]g sad in front of one’s God; Sadness of the opposite of belief [sic]; What if? sadness; Sadness of God alone in heaven; Sadness of a God who would need people to pray to Him.

SADNESSES OF THE INTELLECT: Sadness of being misunderstood [sic]; Humor sadness; Sadness of love wit[hou]t release; Sadne[ss of be]ing smart; Sadness of not knowing enough words to [express what you mean]; Sadness of having options; Sadness of wanting sadness; Sadness of confusion; Sadness of domes[tic]ated birds; Sadness of fini[shi]ng a book; Sadness of remembering; Sadness of forgetting; Anxiety sadness.

INTERPERSONAL SADNESSES: Sadness of being sad in front of one’s parent; Sa[dn]ess of false love; Sadness of love [sic]; Friendship sadness; Sadness of a bad convers[at]ion; Sadness of the could-have-been; Secret sadness.

SADNESSES OF SEX AND ART: Sadness of arousal being an unordinary physical state; Sadness of feeling the need to create beautiful things; Sadness of the anus; Sadness of eye contact during fellatio and cunnilingus; Kissing sadness; Sadness of moving too quickly; Sadness of not mo[vi]ng; Nude model sadness; Sadness of portraiture; Sadness of Pinchas T’s only notable paper, “To the Dust; From Man You Came and to Man You Shall Return,” in which he argued it would be possible, in theory, for life and art to be reversed.

"A man opens his chest onstage.
From his chest
the animals come:
bison, grizzlies, eagles, wolves.
All made of light.
We are moving in the pit,
arms in the air, palms open,
wildness falling into our fingers."

Jeremy Radin, “With These Hands,” published in decomP